New Jersey
{| align="right" border="1" cellpadding="2" width="300" style="margin-left:0.5em;" |- !align="center" colspan=2 |The Great State of NEW JERSEY |- !width=125|Capitol: || Trenton |- !State Flower: || Violet. You got a problem with that? |- !Official Language: || New Joisian |- !State Bird: || The middle finger |- !State Motto: || "Don't worry, the water is supposed to be green." |- !Nicknames: || The Neglected Garden State |- !Governor: || Homo McTaxraiser |- !State Anthem: || Goodfellas soundtrack & Beethoven's Symphony No. 9 in D minor, Op. 125 "Choral" |- !Population: || 8,724,560 |- !Standard MPH: || Whatever you want, pending the absence of a cop in your rear-view mirror |- !Principal imports: || Stupid Bennys from New York |- !Principal exports: || Odor |- !Principal industries: || Waste management (not crime rings) |- !Fun Fact # 1: || You'll never find Jimmy Hoffa! |- !Fun Fact # 2: || The Meadowlands is the smelliest place in America. |- New Jersey (Newfoundland's Belgium or Belgium's Sweden? you decide.) is a state in the Mid-Atlantic and Northeastern regions of the United States. It is the fourth smallest, tenth most populous, the most densely populated, but above all else, THE BEST of the fifty states of the United States. New Jersey is the only state that is also a peninsula, a word which is consistently deliberately misspelled by pubescent teenagers as a cheap sexual innuendo joke. The state is named after the island of Jersey in the English Channel, and has since squashed the former in prominence and odor. It is bordered on the north by New York, on the east by the Atlantic Ocean, on the southwest by Delaware, and on the west by Pennsylvania. Parts of New Jersey lie within the metropolitan areas of New York, Philadelphia, and the Delaware Valley. History The area was originally settled by the Swedes and Dutch. The Indians then conquered them, before getting annihilated by the Yankees in the bottom of the ninth. New Jersey is known as the "crossroads of the revolution", as many battles were fought there during the American Revolution. The main reason for this is the British sought to prevent the future supremacy of American culture by murdering the great grandfather of Bruce Springsteen, a native of New Jersey's Fightin' Fourth. New Jersey Today i r&<3;d0g Bears have been invading northern areas of New Jersey in an attempt to create a pocket of Canada in America. However they are unlikely to succeed as every weekend Colbert takes several trips down I-80 in between the Lincoln Tunnel and the Delaware River and continuously sprays machine-gun fire out the side windows. Anyone who gets in the way should've known better. New Jersey's crowning achievement is a yearly bear hunt in which 75 bears are killed. Some may say New Jersey is just more than New York's back yard, and has more to see than shopping malls and oceans; however, they are wrong. New Jersey has released the state slogan of: "New Jersey, come see for yourself." New Jersey Landmarks A lot of beaches. some are good, some are covered with trash- Atlantic City. some are far to walk to- Wildwood, walk a half a mile and you're at the water! Famous New Joisians, who have not been on The Sopranos * Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, DFA * Evelyn McGee-Colbert * The Jersey Devil * Bon Jovi * Charles Lindbergh's kidnapped son * Bruce Springsteen * John Stewart * Martha Stewart * JAM A Typical Day In New Jersey * 7am- Wake up. * 7:30am- Eat a bagel for breakfast. * 8am- Have a guy at the gas station pump your gas for you. * 9am- Spend the day down the shore. * 11am- Soaking in cancer rays on beach. * 4pm- Still on beach. * 7pm- Have a guy at the gas station pump your gas for you, again. * 8pm- Drive home. * 9pm- Watch the Sopranos. What The Locals Won't Tell You About New Jersey Parts of the state are not nuclear/toxic but rather rural. These zones are being encroached and absorbed by the cities of doom and destruction. This process is slow but picking up speed. There is no such thing as the Mafia. The locals will KICK YOUR FUCKING ASS DON"T MESS WITH THEM!!! External Links Charitable Organizations in